Blaring Gaps in Knowledge: My friend Mary

Mary's gap is a pretty blaringly wide one. I think most of us have figured out how to identify certain types of people who are bad for us right away so that we can defend ourselves against them. Mary has not and there is a certain type of person that is easy to recognize and yet she misses the boat on this kind of person completely, always falling for and then scraping up her heart afterwards due to this type.

For some time now, she has struggled with finding even a nice guy to date, let alone someone she's attracted to for longer than seven seconds (we have been saying SQUIRREL! to her ages before it was ever on Facebook in every other meme featuring a distracted dog or child-she's just that easily distracted!).

You see, Mary can't distinguish between a douchebag and a regular guy. For a bit, she was interested in a guy that looked a heckuva lot like this:

And as you can see, the interwebs has already done the detailed analysis of this douche's douchebaggery. I should mention too; her douche had pink lips just like this.

She also likes to watch Jersey Shore. And although she claims it is because she likes to see horrible people who are not her doing horrible things so that she doesn't have to, I think she kinda has a thing for one or more of those orange douchecanoes.

And yet she's always asking me for advice on what she's doing wrong. It's really as simple as picking someone who doesn't look like the guy above.

So Mary, I love you sweetheart, but this is your blaring gap. You don't know enough to steer clear of douchebags. And somehow you get by.

You'll notice too, that this is the first entry in this blog that is not HIMYM related. So just so you know, just like the lemon law, this blog is gonna be a thing.